If you don't give in to the pressure you lose face amongst peers

Ramesh is a timid boy studying in Class 10. There is a bully Sonu in his class who claims to have had sex with girls. Sonu keeps teasing Ramesh for no reason than that he is timid.

One day, in the presence of the others, he tells Ramesh that Ramesh will never be able to satisfy women, because to satisfy her he has to put her on 'heat'. Ramesh thinks that Sonu knows everything about sex, and believes what he says. He actually does not have a clue as to how to put a woman on 'heat'. He develops an inferiority complex. It affects his personality and self-confidence.

Not getting it up will bring social disgrace

Another common saying is that if the man is unable to satisfy his wife, she will then go to other men for sex. This is a great disgrace for any man, as it is supposed to expose his lack of mardanigi.

You'd lose the battle of manhood if you don't get it up with wife

Young men in traditional India are told that if a man fails to get it up in the first night (of marriage), he would lose the 'battle' and will become a Joru ka gulaam, i.e. he will be ruled by his wife for the rest of his life.

You're not a man if you can't satisfy a woman

A Hindi magazine Saras Kathayein (a cheap sex magazine, masquerading as a serious magazine on sex), in its March 2004 issue quotes a woman in one of its stories (purported to be a real account): "Mother f***, you thought you were a man ..... you burst balloon, you cannot bear the heat of a woman's body ..... you want to play with fire ..... where is your masculinity ..... come on, show your manhood!" The man in this story has tried sexual intercourse with her twice and yet has not satisfied her (it turns out that she is a lesbian). In response to the woman, he only mutters, "Sorry!"

trial

Being with a woman when nature wants him to be with a man

Sonu is a virile, masculine boy who does not have much interest in girls. Most of his sexual needs are for a male partner. He does not want to get married to a girl. But society puts pressure on him. Even questions his manhood. He finally gives in.

One year into marriage, he hates to sleep with his wife. Now he feels so bad about it that he dreads returning home every evening from work, but he has to perform his duty. Everybody else thinks he is a very happy man. In fact he is seen as the "ideal" man.

Forcing oneself to have sex with girls

Ravi is a handsome 21-year-old young man working in an office in Delhi. He has a problem that often, when having sex, he does not get a proper erection. When counselled, he reported that he does not always like the girls that he has sex with. Sometimes he even feels nauseated having to sleep with them.

When asked why he has sex with girls whom he does not like, he says that the girls themselves approach him, and he cannot say no to them, lest they call him chakka (a eunuch/ hijra/member of the third sex). He has accepted his fate of having to have sex with people he can't stand. But such is the irony of male sexual roles that he himself takes the 'blame' for his predicament.